From Personal Hardship to Purpose
Prompt: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience.
“Daddy!” babbled an adorable voice coming from the phone pressed against my father’s ear. That voice was not mine, nor my sister’s, and most certainly not my brother’s. So who was calling my dad “Daddy”? After he hastily headed into the garage and slammed the door shut so I couldn’t hear, my dad responded to the mystery voice in an unintelligible muffle. The feeling of pain consumed me. It turns out, my dad had another life on the other end of that phone call– which confirmed growing suspicions of his betrayal against my family. While I will always love my dad, grieving the devastation of my beloved family has been the greatest challenge I have faced in my life.
From a very young age, I witnessed my dad using anger and aggression to coerce my mom into giving him her hard-earned money. He spent nearly all of it gambling, and now we knew that he was providing for another family too. Throughout childhood, I was plagued by feelings of bitterness, anger, and pain as more of my dad’s integrity diminished. I watched the person I once respected so dearly make impulsive choices and heedless indulgences, tearing apart my family.
Although my mom did her very best to support me and my siblings during this time, the reality persisted that she was dealt an emotional blow and had her own grieving to process. In my mom’s own pain, she would rant to herself at home about my father’s affair and irresponsible spendings, and outside of home, she would restlessly work to compensate for our financial losses. My older siblings occupied themselves with their schoolwork or friends, isolating themselves and coping in their own ways. I was left by myself, spiraling in a state of confusion as I wondered why my dad continued to hurt the family he had the responsibility of loving. Whether at home or in school, I constantly battled a feeling of helplessness, not having anyone to process my dad’s deep betrayal with.
As time went by, my family started talking about our situation for the first time. Through our deep sharings, a sense of safety in my family began to restore. I no longer heard the door furiously shutting to cover up a phone call. Instead, I heard the door opening with my mom’s warm voice calling me to our new and happy family dinners. As I set the dinner table for four instead of five, I recognized I no longer had the same level of grief as before and realized that my family had slowly been overcoming and growing closer together. A bright sun shone into our home, lighting up a future of freedom and healing.
My own painful experiences and subsequent healing compelled me to also help others find needed support. As a result of my journey, I searched for another community with people needing a helping hand for their own struggles. This inspired me to assist my school’s special needs program– connecting deeply with students who others shunned during day-to-day social interactions. It painfully reminded me of the isolation I felt in my own family dynamic. I saw a parallel with the decision my family had made in individually coping rather than facing it together. I felt called to serve as a direct channel of compassion towards this outcasted community. Additionally, as CEO of Interverse, a nonprofit student-run educational organization that offers ESL resources for foreign students, we help build nurturing environments for underserved communities.
I see myself pursuing this immeasurable value far into the future. Through working with more organizations and finding various opportunities to connect with others, the future I envision absolutely includes serving as a pillar of support for those struggling with abandonment. Though challenged at many points along this journey, I cherish the lessons I learned along the way, which deeply impacted me and continue directing me towards my destiny.
